And one less makes seven ...

Today has been rough.  We lost another rattie - BooBoo had surgery a little while back to remove two tumors.  One was "clean" and the vet was upbeat about it, but the other was "nasty" and she thought it might be cancer.  My heart kinda fell when she told me that, but I couldn't just not try.  BooBoo never really got better after her surgery though ... she had started breathing hard just before it and while she didn't get worse, she didn't improve.

I took her in this afternoon to have her sutures removed.  I don't know if it was the stress of that trip (she's always kinda been spazzy about being handled) or if she had cancer in her lungs, or maybe both ... but she passed out shortly after they took her back.  They tried giving her oxygen but she was too tired and let go.  She is so much better off now and I know I did everything I could have.  Still hurts tho.

Josh said that he thinks the perfect pet for me is a giant tortoise.  He said we could name it Fred, and since they live for like 100 years or more, we wouldn't have to deal with this pain.  Can't cuddle a tortoise tho.  I'm going to go cuddle the ratties I still have left.  Hoping for a couple of babies soon from my friend in Chicago!!

And then there were eight ...

This afternoon, Josh and I took Fink to the vet and let her go.  She seemed to understand and was very quiet and looked us both in the eyes before we left, as if to show gratitude.  Our vet seemed almost as broken as I felt - she was choked up and hugged me before we left - this is one reason why I trust her completely.

Fink will be very much missed, but is no longer in pain, no longer frustrated over limbs that won't move right and a body that doesn't do what she tells it to.  She is whole again, fat and sassy and playing with Cap, Cocoa, Chance, Yogi and Sparta. I trust her to watch over everyone as they join her to wait for us.

RatFink

I'm sitting here today, after having worked 5 hours of overtime, cleaned the rat cage, and cuddled Fink for as long as she would let me ... wishing that my little ratties lived longer.  Fink isn't doing so well - I'm fairly sure at this point that she has a pituitary tumor, which means there is nothing I can do except to make her as comfortable as possible.  She's almost 2 and was the first experience we had with rattie intelligence - and there's a story behind that one.

One evening, not long after getting Fink, she was out and running around on top of our desks, which face each other.  Josh was still at work, and she was over on his desktop, when I heard a gnawing sound.  Sure enough - she was nibbling on the foam padding of his headphones.  OOPS ... she knew she had screwed up and came slinking back over to my side of the desk, where I scooped her up and put her back in her cage.  Josh came home about 40 minutes later and before I had a chance to tell him, he stopped by her cage to say hi.  Well, she had initially climbed up the bars to greet him, but when she realized who it was, she dropped back down and "hid" in the back corner instead.  Of course he picked her up for cuddles to see if she was hurt or anything, and she started licking all over him - she'd always been kissy with me but not so much with him, so that was a little surprising.  That was when I told him about the headphones and we realized she was ashamed and was doing the only she knew how to apologize.

Think about it ... not only did she remember what she had done - 40 minutes later - but she also connected Josh with his headphones and the fact that she wasn't supposed to chew on them, and felt shame for having done so ... and then tried to apologize!

It's just not fair - I think of how smart and affectionate she is, and how awesome it would be to have her around for years and years.  Think of all she could learn if she just had that kind of time!  Maybe that's why God takes them so early - they're just too smart for us humans to be able to handle.

Is it weird or strange that I can get so attached?  A lot of people say yes, especially where a rodent is concerned.  But I don't see Fink (or any of my girls) that way.  They are family - they have fur instead of smooth skin, but they are my babies just the same.  My ratties know their names, come when called (usually, especially when there are yogies involved), and all of them give "kisses" - licking all over my fingers.  They follow me and beg for attention and love - some will even leap out of the cage onto my shoulder if I'm not paying *enough* attention to them!

So while I have the time, this is my tribute to Fink - the first of many, who introduced me to everything a rat can be.  The other girls will have some very large paw prints to fill.