When God tells you to wait ...

A few months ago, I received some news at work that I did *not* like.  I was very upset, angry, and frustrated.  I'll be honest ... I had to clock out and take about an hour to calm myself down - I was that upset!!  I felt that I simply would not be capable of working under this new sitution, so I immediately talked to the appropriate people to try to get some changes made.

Well, I was essentially told to stick it out for a bit and see what happened.  Of course I didn't like that idea - I wanted things my way!!  So I ranted and raved at home and to my friends and checked job postings to see what else there was that would get me out of this situation.  Then I heard a song on the radio.

Now, God frequently uses music to talk to me ... I will hear a phrase in a song that applies to something going on in my life. I have heard this particular song many many times ... and it's a good one, but it never "said" anything to me specifically.  This time, the part that caught my attention - what really smacked me in the face - was this:

I'm gonna make you stronger
Hold on just a little bit longer
Cuz I'll be there
When you feel like you're going under
I'm gonna be there for you
(Royal Tailor: Remain)

Boy did I ever feel like I was about to fall off a cliff... like I couldn't hold on.  But God told me to wait and that He was still there with me.  Okay ... fine.  I've dealt with worse, right?  And as a reminder, about a week later, after I had a little time to calm down and get a little bit of experience under the new system, I heard another one ...

I won't give you more, more than you can take
And I might let you bend, but I won't let you break
And no, I'll never let you go.
(Group 1 Crew: He Said)

Got it.  Wait, deal, be patient.  So I stopped trying to get things changed and just dealt with it ... but I kept an eye on job postings anyway.  A while later, I got an interview scheduled for another position.  It was a lateral move, but I figured that was acceptable and would at least give me additional experience in a related area, and that could always help down the road.  Just before the interview, things changed again to what I had actually been angling for before.  But I already had the interview set up, so I went ahead with that route to see where it would lead.  A short time later, I was offered the position and told that, while it would technically be a lateral move, it would still come with a pay increase and, best of all, confirmed that I would still be able to work from home.  I've been in my new role now for 5 weeks ... and it's a *much* better fit for my abilities and preferences.

All this to say ... even when things maybe look awful, if you think you just can't take it and you want it to change ... if God tells you to wait and see, do that!  I could have gone on and pushed for change, but it would have probably injured my relationship with the people in my previous job.  I don't know how He talks to you ... it might be through other people, books, movies, music, a sermon, a "random" thought ... but learn to listen and then *hear* what He says.  It may be to move, it may be to wait, or it may be a step along a longer path.  Either way - He'll direct you to the best He has for you.

2014

I rarely make New Year's resolutions.  I think it's silly, pointless, and they rarely get kept.  Last week, Pastor Eric's message was "Go For It" and he told us to make "can't" a curse word and take it out of our vocabulary.  We were then treated to a portion of The Little Engine That Could, and he asked us to write down three goals that we believe God wants us to reach in 2014. Well, for a long time now, I have known that I need to be more intentional with my health - both physical and spiritual.  I'm not too sure what my third "goal" would be, but I figure it's better to start with something than to skip it all for lack of the third :)

So ... with God's help ... this year my first goal is to read through the entire Bible - get to know and understand it and really apply it.  That's kind of difficult to quantify ahead of time as far as how it will be measured, but I'm believing that the results will make themselves clear as I go.  I want it to be obvious that I have a relationship with Jesus.  Not an in your face, beating people over the head with rules religion ... but a relationship that makes others want the same.

My second goal is to get healthy physically ... to exercise regularly and to pay better attention to what I eat.  I'd like to lose 31 pounds and be able to fit into that swimsuit without feeling like my belly is going to fall out and smack someone.  I want to be able to make it more than 5 minutes into a cardio workout without feeling like I'm going to keel over.  I want to live longer than my parents did and be there for my grandkids (not that I'm in any rush for that!!!).

I think a big reason "resolutions" don't hold are because too often they are hidden or private.  If no one knows, it's easier to let them go.  So, whoever reads this ... now you know ... and hopefully you will be willing to hold me accountable.

Thanksgiving 2013

Once again, we decided to stay home this year and have dinner here.  We had invited a few friends but they were unable to come, so it's just the five of us now.  Ronnie is planning to come over in a little while, just in time for a late lunch / early dinner, along with fresh homemade apple pie and Sams' pumpkin pie.

Instead of doing all of the cooking ourselves, we bought a smoked turkey dinner from Hickory River.  Man that turkey is good!!  Came with mashed potatoes, green beans, stuffing and rolls ... so we made sweet potatoes and cranberry relish and corn salsa and pie.  We'll likely do this again next year, but perhaps add in some green bean casserole.  I think I like it better.

After our first round of food (I am under no illusions that we won't be grazing all day), we are now doing a Lord of the Rings marathon ... currently in the middle of the Fellowship of the Ring.  Ember is on the back for the couch staring at the screen as if she understands it, and Nitro is curled up on his bed under the cat tree, where Smoke is curled in a hammock that she barely fits into.  The ratties all got a taste of apple from the cores and have piled into their hammocks to sleep it off, and Guen and DK got some turkey bits and are curled up in their pen where it's warm.

At the risk of sounding trite ... I am so thankful for everything that we have.  God has blessed us greatly and while the path hasn't been smooth, I think that really has helped us to be grateful for where we are.  We have good jobs, a great house, plenty of food and the ability to help others.  Life is good.

June ... really ??

This year is so totally different as far as weather goes ... it almost doesn't seem like it's summer.  Of course that is throwing me off of realizing how LATE in the year it already is ... how did June come and fly by so fast!??!  The kids are home from school and getting back into "summer mode", trying to balance sleeping in with doing chores, playing video games with going outside.  As long as the weather is nice, I try to kick them outside at least part of the day - it's good for them, and it's quieter for me!

Last Monday, I realized that my dates were wrong on St. Louis RenFaire - I had thought it was on through July, but June 9 was the last day.  So we planned to go, rain or shine, on the 8th.  Fortunately, we had lovely sunny weather, not too hot and with a decent breeze.  I'm really hoping to spend some time there next year - and even asked Josh if he'd consider possibly doing the one in Kansas City.  Although with a six hour drive, that would be an all weekend event ... more expensive etc.

Got word on June 1st that we have baby ratties coming!  I am eagerly watching the pictures at Sweet Genes - Miss Raspberry had 14 babies on May 31st.  Debbie is still deciding which little girl she will be keeping and that will help determine who we get.  I'll just be happy with healthy girls ... tho a dumbo rex would be awesome :)

Two more weeks and Daniel and I will be heading out to Dallas for YFN.  We've got meetings the next couple of weeks with leaders and parents - to give everyone an idea of what to expect.  We have a few veterans going, but mostly new people who have never been!  I'm pretty excited - I know Josh thinks I'm crazy for being excited about traveling and spending time with 30 non-family members ...

And one less makes seven ...

Today has been rough.  We lost another rattie - BooBoo had surgery a little while back to remove two tumors.  One was "clean" and the vet was upbeat about it, but the other was "nasty" and she thought it might be cancer.  My heart kinda fell when she told me that, but I couldn't just not try.  BooBoo never really got better after her surgery though ... she had started breathing hard just before it and while she didn't get worse, she didn't improve.

I took her in this afternoon to have her sutures removed.  I don't know if it was the stress of that trip (she's always kinda been spazzy about being handled) or if she had cancer in her lungs, or maybe both ... but she passed out shortly after they took her back.  They tried giving her oxygen but she was too tired and let go.  She is so much better off now and I know I did everything I could have.  Still hurts tho.

Josh said that he thinks the perfect pet for me is a giant tortoise.  He said we could name it Fred, and since they live for like 100 years or more, we wouldn't have to deal with this pain.  Can't cuddle a tortoise tho.  I'm going to go cuddle the ratties I still have left.  Hoping for a couple of babies soon from my friend in Chicago!!

Tough Character Lesson

When you spend all year kind of skating through school and not really paying attention to deadlines or homework, it can really bite you in the butt.  Ash found this out the hard way this week.  To her great credit, she has really tried to buckle down and pay attention and get things done and turn homework and assignments in.  But a big research paper was due last week and has disappeared.

Since she has never tried to tell me something was turned in when it wasn't, I do believe that it was done and got turned in.  However, the hard fact is that the teacher does not have it.  Where did it go?  No one knows, of course.  But with Ash's track record of procrastination (handed down from me - I will take full credit there) and turning things in late, her teacher is simply not inclined to give her any grace on it.  This could easily bomb her grade, and depending on how she does on her final exam, may even mean she has to repeat the class.

It's the classic "boy who cried wolf" scenario.  So many things done late or not at all ... and this one time that she really did do it, it gets lost.  It really sucks, honestly - and I went with her today to talk to the teacher, all prepared for a fight and ready to make the teacher straighten up and do her job, etc. (Mama Bear was raring to go!).  But after talking to the teacher, while I don't really like her style of communication with the kids, I cannot argue with her logic or methods - I can't think of anything else she could have done to ensure things from her end.

The optimist in me is still hoping that the folder with the research paper and all related assignments will miraculously appear in an overlooked/misplaced stack of other folders and that Ash will be vindicated and her grade salvaged.  But the realist in me realizes this is unlikely ... and simply hopes for the lesson to be learned this time, on a (relatively) unimportant life event, so it won't happen again on something major.


This is what character comes down to.  Is your character such that people *know* you will do what you say you will?  Or is it kind of up in the air and they'll believe it when they see it?

What a month !!!

Well it's been a bit, but here I am again.  We've had quite an eventful month overall. The kids and I spent a bunch of time outside over Spring Break - I took the week off work rather than try to deal with the racket that three teenagers can make.  We spent Monday out in the yard clearing out weeds and old mulch, then spreading new mulch.  Tuesday we spent recuperating.  Thursday we spread some more mulch and then that Saturday Josh and I planted some new flowers that I got from a FreeCycle member.  I'm still looking for them to take hold and bloom - might need to wait til next year but we'll see how they go :)

I'm in the middle of training at work - nothing spectacular - just a refresher on a line of business that I haven't worked for nearly 3 years.  They're wanting us to all be cross-trained eventually, so this is my turn.  It's mostly reminders and "oh yeah I remember that" type of stuff, so honestly I'm a little bored.  There have been changes since I worked this stuff last, so I do have to pay attention.  Fortunately I have a great trainer and she gives us plenty of examples to work through and get practice.

This weekend we've been dealing with a wet basement.  We've had so much rain in the past week that the ground simply couldn't hold it all ... and so it tried to invade our house.  The last couple of years have been much drier, so we never realized that our sump pump wasn't really doing anything ... well we found out this past Thursday!!  It was quite the saga, really ...

Long story short - after assuming the sump pump we had was working (it was, but only temporarily), finding out it had stopped and allowed a half inch of water into our finished basement, buying a new pump (and running out of gas in the process), the pipe breaking during the install, fixing the pipe and finally getting the new pump installed, and sucking out 12+ loads of water with the 10 gallon shop vac, the basement is now being dried by 4 box fans and a dehumidifier.  We are leaving the basement door open in an attempt to allow moisture to escape upstairs and out the windows (when we're able to open them - temps dropped into the 40s!!).  I have borrowed a carpet cleaner from a friend and will use it today to try to get rid of the wet-dog smell that the basement currently has going on.

And the good news is that Ashleigh's birthday is in a few days and we are gearing up for that.  She's decided she wants to have a few friends get together at Skateland - not for a full-on party with the cake and all that, but just a few of them to go skate for a while.  Then we'll have the family party back at our house with all the adults who have no interest in skating :P  She and Hallie decided they want to have a joint party again because "It's just not as fun when we do them separately".  And the icing on the cake (for me anyway) is that our new couch is being delivered just in time for the party, so there will be plenty of seating for everyone!

More events in May and June - we'll be going to the RenFaire in Wentzville, then Daniel and I will be headed to Dallas for YFN.  It's going to be a great summer !!